Okay, I admit it. My guilty pleasure is watching American Idol and dishing with friends at work and on the phone the day following the broadcast. It's harmless. I don't hurt anyone. Some of the kids are very talented, and others need to take a hike, but all it really is....is a TALENT SHOW. We've had these for years. It was not a big new idea when it first hit the airwaves, it was, like most things, a reworking of an old idea. Like the way Hollywood makes new movies out of either comic books, or old TV shows.Â
In school I remember talent shows. They were sometimes remarkable to us, like when the quiet nerd could actually kick ass and did a karate demonstration. Or the brother and sister who wrote and sang cool folksy songs and could play guitars. Or my friend who twirled fire baton. There was always a fun surprise and it was a reason to have assembly instead of another class. That was always a welcomed interruption.
Also TV has had talent shows for years. The one I remember the most was "Star Search" with Ed McMahon. My friend Gene Houck was on the show and won! Nothing wrong with a talent competition. Some of the winners will thrive like Carrie Underwood, and some will fade into the "where are they now" category in the years ahead.Â
So, here comes American Idol auditions to Portland, Oregon for the first time ever. Okay, how many "Portlandia" types will show up and be goofy for the cameras? How many will flip off the camera after a really rediculous and awful audition? How many traffic hang ups will result because of poor planning on the date of this thing? Yes, it's the same weekend as the big Waterfront Blues Festival, and even though it's across the river, it's always a nasty mess trying to get anywhere on that Friday before the holiday. Here's the press release we got here at the station this morning:
American Idol Auditions Come to Portland for the First Time at the Rose Garden Jul 2Pre-registration Jun 30 â Jul 1Who:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Open call audition for the eleventh season of AMERICAN IDOL
 When:             Thu â Sat, Jun 30 â Jul 2 â Varies
Where:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Rose Quarter â Rose Garden
What: Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â PRE-REGISTRATION(Thursday, June 30 & Friday, July 1)
 - Wristbands will be distributed to auditioners during pre-registration (tables open Thursday and remain open until Saturday morning). Once auditioners obtain their wristbands, they will be asked to return to the stadium early morning Saturday, July 2 to line up for their audition.
 - Available press coverage includes: B-roll, photos, interviews with auditioners, their friends/family members and interviews/photos with an available AMERICAN IDOL producer (pending availability).
 - Media check-in for pre-registration will begin at 6:00 AM on both Thurs/Fri. Please note that these times are subject to change.
 AUDITIONS(Saturday, July 2)***NO MEDIA IS PERMITTED INSIDE THE VENUE DURING AUDITIONS***
So they want all the media until they get to the actual auditions and that's what we get to see in the first part of the show. When you have the really good with the really bad. I just want someone really great to come out of Portland and win. Hey, why not? Two 16 year old country kids got to the finals last time. I mean REALLY???? This time we need a rocker from Portland.Â
Can you sing? Can you sell it on stage? Then show up and do your city proud!
I read a magazing article about three perfect weight, normal sized women who LOVE to watch the show "The Biggest Loser." It's like an obsession with them. Now this mystifies me completely. I understand watching the show if you have weight to lose (more than 5-10 vanity pounds...and if that's all you have to lose and I catch you at a Weight Watchers meeting, please just drop off the face of the earth right now. Thank you!) because it's inspiring and it gives everyone facing a similar task the "you can do it" attitude. But to watch if you don't have a weight issue, and have NEVER had a weight issue, well, that's sort of bizarre. Of course with our weight obsessed culture, and a national crisis going on to get kids to go play outside, maybe everyone thinks they have to lose weight now. Anyway, if this show appeals to you, here's the information on how to go about getting on "The Biggest Loser."
Casting Call info:
Saturday, Feb. 26, 2011
Rose Garden Arena
One Center Court
Portland, OR
10am-6pm
*Please bring a non-returnable photo with you. Our staff will provide applications, you do not need the one off the website.
You must have at least 100lbs to lose. We are casting couples and individuals this season.
So, if you want to participate, here's your chance!
My son's best friend, Mason, told me I would love this show. We were talking about my prior blog for "S#*t My Dad Says" and he was telling me what I would probably like and not like about it. We all came to the conclusion that my birth father, John, would have been the absolutely PERFECT pick for the lead in that show because he is THAT GUY. I'm not kidding. I have witnesses. But after seeing the CBS preview, I do enjoy "The Shat" in the role. But my father would have been perfect. I'm just pissed I didn't start writing down his "John-isms" a long time ago.   My brother, Neil, and I have said several times that we should record his stories, because they are amazing...and they would probably make us all rich. Note to self, bring recorder next time I visit.Â
Mason works for Warner Brothers so he knows about some of these shows because they are filmed on the WB lot. I told him I was also looking forward to the start of the last season of "Weeds" with my favorite law-breaking disfunctional family on TV doing their crazy stuff. He told me then that I will LOVE the other show that would follow "Weeds," "The Big C." The "C" of course stands for cancer. He was right. I loved the show. Laura Linney is amazing. The subject matter is fantastic. Some people may find it upsetting that this dramady takes such a serious subject and actually makes you laugh, but so far, all the things she has gone through were things that I at least thought about when I heard that I had "The Big C."Â
I won't bore you with details other than Oliver Platt does a great job playing her estranged husband, and I love her newbie oncologist and brother. Can't stand her awful spoiled son which means he's doing a great job in the role. Here's a link to a pretty good review of the show.Â
So now I have "Weeds," "The Big C," and "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" to make Monday much better. My not so guilty pleasures.
I seem to watch The Travel Channel a lot. The problem with it is that it makes me want to cash in everything I own, and take off with a credit card and a smile. The good thing about watching is that I get to travel vicariously through people like Anthony Bourdain, Samantha Brown, Adam Richman and now Zane Lamprey. Last night while surfing through channels looking for something to watch I saw a listing for "Three Sheets" as in "three sheets to the wind" which is a term that I am unfortunately all too familiar with in my past.Â
This is a show that my son wishes he had come up with. The host, Zane Lamprey, travels around the world sampling the locally produced alcohol and does a show about it. Seriously?! It's like that episode of "Cheers" when Norm Peterson was hired to be a beer taster and almost openly wept for joy. Like a duck to water.
This show has been on TV since 2006. I had no idea it even existed until last night. It moved from MOJO to FLN and started on The Travel Channel in May of this year.  He also had a show on The Food Network called "Have Fork Will Travel" at one point, and has done stuff for MTV, VH1, and Comedy Central. Zane is a likeable guy. Easy to watch. Doesn't piss you off like Bourdain might, although I adore Tony and his foul mouth and snarky attitude. I adore him from afar. Zane comes across as a guy you would actually like to go have a drink with. There's been 52 episodes of this show so far. Hulu has 50 of them. I must catch up.Â
Last night I saw two episodes. One about Iceland, and the other was Amsterdam. Hemp infused beer. Yep. At the Hemp Hotel. He didn't seem so fond of the taste, but enjoyed the people hanging around imbibing with him. One woman reminded me of the "Mother" character that Eileen Brennan played in the movie "FM" with that very deep voice and a total handle on the whole scene around her. She was apparently the owner of the establishment. Not a bad life choice if you wanted to hang around and smoke pot all the time, I guess.Â
So, there you go. A show that makes me want to travel, sample, and never come home. I'd probably get tired, but it does make me want to go somewhere for about a year. I wonder if checking in at the Hemp Hotel is anything like the Hotel California. "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...."
Check please! And where is that new credit card and my luggage?
That's the rumor.  Click here for more on the story, and the fact that Joe Perry had to read about it on the internet.
When I pause to think about it, it actually sounds like a good idea. Hey, there would be someone in music that I respect,  giving their opinion, and with more of a rock leaning instead of someone who put together Il Divo. Sorry Simon, but that one I just never got, other than they were pretty boys who sang a kind of opera thing. Made my teeth hurt.
So here's a link to a video of Tyler on TMZ talking about the tour and A.I. Click here.
I don't know what this means for Aerosmith...again. Can these guys just get along and do an injury free tour...and come to Portland again???? Is that too much to ask?
I wonder what the man who has everything, and has done everything, does for his birthday... Maybe he works. Â Mick Jagger's doing another project with Martin Scorsese, the amazing award winning director who did a killer job on the concert documentary of The Rolling Stones called "Shine a Light."Â We saw it on the IMAX screen and it was fantastic!
The new project is a dramatic mini series for HBO tentatively called "The History of Music" which will follow two friends through 40 years in the music business. I wonder if Mick will be acting in the show, or if he's just a money man and creative mind behind the project. I guess we'll be finding out in the weeks to come.
Amy blogged about The Stones upcoming world tour to commemorate their 50th anniversary. It kicks off in 2011, and goes through 2012, when the world is supposed to end or something. I wonder what they had to do to get Charlie Watts to agree to touring again? Before the last tour, he said he wouldn't do another one. Money talks.
Meanwhile, happy 67th birthday, Mick. I can't believe that man is 67. Dead sexy, and he still moves like a feline on stage. He defies time. I think there must be a picture of Mick somewhere in one of his mansions that is getting old and ugly, like in the Oscar Wilde book "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I love this quote from the book: "How sad it is that I shall grow old, and horrible, and dreadful. But this picture will remain always young. It will never be older than this particular day of June...If it were only the other way. If it were I who was to be always young and the picture that was to grow old! For that-for that- I would give everything! Yes, there is nothing in the whole world that I would not give! I would give my soul for that!"Â
Does "Sympathy for the Devil" come to mind when you read that passage?Â
Happy Birthday Mick! Stay well and beautiful and keep rockin' because Portland would sure love to see you in the Rose Garden again!!
I'm thrilled that William Shatner is going to be in the new series based on the Twitter phenomenon where a guy, living with his dad, just writes down the verbage that comes out of his mouth. It started with Twitter. I picked up on it via Facebook. Then it was a book that was published, which my son bought for Marty for Father's Day. Now it's a CBS TV show for the new Fall season. They could just have William Shatner reading from the Twitter postings and it would be fine with me.Â
 The funny part is the fact that the actual title is "Shit My Dad Says." So, being a TV network that isn't HBO or Showtime, they can't say the first word of the real title. So they have those little #*&%# symbols that stand for the fact that someone is swearing. That sucks. Seriously, HBO should have done this one, because the actual quotes from the dad, with the profanity intact works much better. If you're a follower, you know what I mean. If you don't follow this guy, go find it and do it right now. Click here to link and enjoy. You'll laugh your ass off. Plus, who NEVER says that word? Seriously? Even my sainted late mother who came up with cutesy little "almost" swear words such as son of a biscuit, or hell's bells, occasionally used that one. Why is poop, crap, and other descriptive words for the same thing okay, and not shit? Like the late great George Carlin said, "In TV today, you can say "I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around." I know, the subject has been explored to death, and after everyone was shocked and awed by Janet Jackson's nipple at the Superbowl, and Bono's expletive at the American Music Awards (or some awards thing that I didn't watch...but have heard about ad nausium) we've had to edit songs that have been played forever in their original form. I get calls about this all the time. Silly really.Â
Anyway, back to the #@!*$ My Dad Says.....The casting and the promo for the show look really good, I just wish they could say all the words we are used to reading from the guy. Can't you just hear those lovely expletives rolling off The Shat's tongue? Click here for the link to a preview of the show.
There's all kinds of thoughts on profanity and swearing and I'll close with some great quotes about the subject.
"When angry count to four. When very angry, swear."-Mark Twain
"Many a man's profanity saved him from a nervous breakdown."-Henry Haskins
"All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity."-Gordie Howe
It's been almost a week since surgery and I'm entering the zone where I'm getting anxious for absolutely no reason. I've got great home health nurses that come every other day and tend to me. My vital signs are still there. Hey, like Keith Richards said "It's great to be here....It's great to be anywhere!"Â
Maybe it was the call from the bank telling me that someone was trying to charge things at Wal-Mart on my credit card. They were ringing up quite a little bill too. Hey identity thief, I know where you live and where you shop you piece of work. Thanks for stressing out my day while I'm trying to heal. Ever hear of Karma? Hope a load of it drops on your pointed head.
Anyway, I was desperately in need of a giggle...a guffaw...a belly laugh without the belly being involved because of surgery. Something rediculous yet intelligent. Immediately I thought of Craig Ferguson. I had some on the DVR! Oh good! So I settled down and as usual the description of guests was half right. that's how the show goes sometimes. People talk longer than they are supposed to, people don't show up, you know...talk show stuff. Anyway, the reason I was excited about one show was that Eric Idol was on. The two of them were hilarious. Timing was fantastic. They are both so smart and funny. Being a Monty Python fan from way way back, it was like the most delicious little TV moment. My mood was lifted!Â
Then I went for the second show where Craig's  guest was John Waters. I'm feeling so much better now that I can actually attempt this blog. John Waters is bizarre and hilarious and that's without even saying one word. Love his crazy movies. He's always a great interview and he and Ferguson took conversation to a new level of double entendre goodness. Dandy! I'm feeling better now.
I should follow this with a replaying of "The Hangover" or "I Love You, Man"  just to make sure I stay this way as I drift off to sleep. Send me ideas for funny movies. Even if I've seen them, I would probably enjoy them again. I need a funny book to read too. I just finished two sad ones and I can't go there right now. I need comedy. Laughing heals, rock heals. And really great home nurses too.
Give yourself a large embrace for me.Â
Iris
