It is totally dorky that I am super-interested in the Iowa caucus today? I would usually rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon that discuss or follow politics. If there's an opinion I need to voice, I'll get that opinion from Saturday Night Live or from my Lying Sister, who fancies herself a regular politico dynamo. Don't get her started, she'll talk your ear off for an hour about this and that, spit vitriolic opinions at you as if you are a big, dumb animal not worthy of the conversation, and whatever it is you might believe, you better side with her or you might as well just run away and crawl in a hole rather than feel her political hatred oozing from her pores and eyes. Just trust me, it's not worth it and I'm fairly certain she'll knife someone someday over their beliefs. Conservative Republicans and Sarah Palin likers beware. I digress.
You all know I rarely sleep and those dark, cold hours between 3 and 6am, I usually watch the local news. Exciting right? Thank the SBJ that Starbucks opens at 5am. The Iowa caucus is the big story lately, and I thought I'd share with you how the actual Iowa caucuses (caucus'? caucii? is there no plural of caucus?) actually work.
It's a fairly archaic system developed way back in the 1840s, and didn't even include a presidential caucus until the Jimmy Carter days of 1976, or something. Any citizen can hold a caucus meeting: in their home, a church, a community center, a public restroom, a rock concert, you get the picture. All caucus meetings begin promptly at 7pm with a question and answer session. Then, a silent vote is cast on a piece of paper. Votes are collected and tallied, and the results are phoned in to a ballot official, or something.
Really? There has GOT to be more rules, because if this were the case, I'd hold a caucus and Kid Rock would end up the official winner. So I thought I'd better do a little more research than what I remember from the 4am segment of today's CBS morning news.
OK- yep- I got some things wrong. There are 1774 voting districts...blah blah blah...straw poll...I'm already bored....eh, never mind. I lost interest. It got very confusing in wikipedia. I'll just ask my sister if I have any questions.