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Classic Rock

Iris Harrison's Blog


If your favorite band is....

This is a funny list from the website  McSweeny' I'll print it here for you, but there's other funny stuff on his site.  Visit and see.  Also tell me what your favorite line in here is.  Mine is the Allman Brothers...

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You.

BY JOHN PECK - - - - The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned. The Who: You own a Goldwing with a baby-changing station. Ted Nugent: Your hair has at some point been caught in a ceiling fan, boat propeller, or lathe. The Rolling Stones: You own three cars and no stereo. Canned Heat: You own three stereos and no car. The Beatles: You can do exactly 1.5 pull-ups. Badfinger: You are a Beatle. Deep Purple: Some part of a law named after a young girl applies to you. Led Zeppelin: The first three things you smoked were banana peels, catnip, and poppies, in that order. Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65. The Kinks: You have bad teeth and are good in bed. The Guess Who: You have good teeth and are bad in bed. Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting unventilated rooms. David Bowie: There is still, somewhere, a Dig Dug or Zaxxon machine with your high score on it. Mott the Hoople: You are David Bowie. The Moody Blues: You are a former volunteer at the Liberace museum, a serial killer, or both. The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the seventies make your daughter's roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable. T-Rex: No matter how much you clean, there will always be trace amounts of glitter on your stove and blender. The Eagles: You can only reach orgasm while listening to talk radio. Pink Floyd: Your garage is full of failed versions of your stereo/barbecue hybrid. Thin Lizzy: You are often forced to change or cancel your plans due to "NO LOITERING" signs. ZZ Top: Your favorite Hank Williams is Hank Williams, Jr. Chicago: You are incapable of talking about Chicago without mentioning their horn section. Quicksilver Messenger Service: You become sullen when people don't stick around while you fix their vacuum cleaners. Crosby, Stills & Nash: You own an oversized hat. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: You own three or more oversized hats. Jefferson Airplane: You make your living buying and selling oversized hats. AC/DC: You only remove your socks to shower, and then only reluctantly. Aerosmith: You know a store that still sells puffy Reeboks. Van Halen: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Jeep. Sammy Hagar: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Subaru Brat. Bachman-Turner Overdrive: You have an actual urine stain on your Subaru Brat. Uriah Heep: You are the cause of the urine stain. Santana: You have had an hours-long conversation with someone before realizing it was just a pile of clothes. Rainbow: You have worn sweatpants to a funeral. Foreigner: You have a severely wrinkled Jane Fonda poster under your bed. Styx: You have a severely wrinkled Foreigner poster under your bed. Allman Brothers Band: You do not own a bong, but can quickly make one from a piece of fruit or an abandoned toilet. Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock. Cream: You know a guy who knows a guy who worked on Star Wars. Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet. Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair and a sunburned scalp. Yes: Your ideal partner would be into both tantric sex and fat guys. Creedence Clearwater Revival: You are frequently missing part of an eyebrow. Rush: You carry a small flashlight everywhere, and use it at least three times a day. Blue Cheer: You have a subset of friends whose sole purpose is to hold your hair while you vomit. Boston: Your best friend really likes Blue Cheer. Steely Dan: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Remembrance of Things Past. Fleetwood Mac: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of The Hobbit. Blue Oyster Cult: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Type 2 Diabetes for Dummies. Mountain: You have snorted cocaine off a Blue Oyster Cult record. Nazareth: You have snorted cocaine off a member of Mountain. Hawkwind: You sell cocaine to Nazareth fans. Molly Hatchet: You sell baking soda to Hawkwind fans and tell them it's cocaine. Jethro Tull: You have a favorite rune.

02/25/2011 7:45AM
If your favorite band is....
Please Enter Your Comments Below
02/25/2011 11:06AM
Huh- larious!
02/28/2011 5:34AM
Joel Fish
Hello, Been a long time. Hope everything is going well with you and the family. I tried to find and alternate option for a message, but could only get this one. Please feel free to E-Mail me at the above e-mail. Hope to talk with you later.
04/03/2012 11:53PM
Can Anybody please explain the Rolling Stones/Three car, no stereo vs. Canned Heat?
.....He there...typically fairly early to "get it", but I must admit this one is eluding me? Rolling Stones fan/fave band, "You own three cars, but no stereo", and since I cannot recall a Canned Heat presently (three stereos, no car), I am left to grasp at something like a "rich vs poor, macho/rugged but basic vs. cerebral/audiophile" likely altogether nothing to do with the intended meaning meanings. I have googled this looking for an explanation, no luck so far. Though the other apples/oranges but polar opposites (Beatles vs. Stones) "You can do exactly one and a half pull-ups" would seem to allude to their peacenik, all you need is love juxtapostion to the Stones' rebellious, mysoginist snarly side. Anyone?
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