Dear Co-workers, some of whom I like a lot, like Daria because she’s funny, and Maureen because she seems to enjoy me right now,
Did you see what happened out in the parking lot? What happened is there’s a bunch of you parking in the promo/engineering lot. If you prefer to work in promotions or engineering, I’d be happy to hire you to work promo events for minimum wage. Please let me know your availability and I’ll get you scheduled right away. I think Gary’s good with his staff, but I’ll double check and get back to you.
If you are not Jim, Gary, Kent, Dee, or driving a station vehicle, you do not belong in the promo lot. If you are Bob Brooks, please feel free to park wherever you’d like. I’m sure as hell not ever telling you where to park.
There are PLENTY of parking spaces in the actual parking lot. Please don’t make me send another sarcastic email that you will more than likely ignore. I won’t really send it, I’ll just go speak with your manager in a stern yet jokey tone. And if they ignore me too (again), I’ll stamp my foot and whine to Clark. He hates it when I whine and will likely handle the situation in a professional manner. Those of you parking in the promo lot know who you are because we tend to have to remind you every few months. It’s getting kind of old. The promo lot is difficult enough to get in and out of with our neighbors parking on the gravel road at all angles. We don’t need a bunch of Entercom peeps further complicating our promo endeavors by parking where they know they shouldn’t.
We know what cars you drive. I also bought eggs.
Moving forward, thank you for parking in the real parking lot. Fake smile.